Wednesday, December 31, 2008

continued

I went back to the dentist today because I am still in pain. It sucks. Anyway, I made it to H&I and it was such an awesome meeting! Then I went to another meeting after that! It's New Years Eve and I really don't want to go anywhere tonight. I know once I get there I'll be okay.

I am freezing! okay, well I am going for now and I will write more after the dance!!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I sit here today, knowing that I need to go to H&I and yet there is a very selfish part of me that hates the idea! I sit here and wonder if anyone else feels this way. I sit and think about the fact that I have, for the last 5 years gone into the jail and taken meetings to women who haven't the ability to go. I think that there are more people that can help out and don't.



I have been in recovery for over 6 years and I took a very hard break because I needed one. I could no longer do anymore service. I have been of service since two years before I got clean.

It isn't the only thing eating my lunch right now though. I made the mistake of going to this dentist that doesn't care about his patients and only about money. I feel a lot of pain in my jaw, and being an addict it's hard because I loved pills, and now I get freaked out about the idea. I only hope that I can get a Great dentist soon! I hate the one I found. I thought after a root canal I wouldn't have pain anymore. They lied!