Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hello again

It's been since Friday and I am feeling a little off, yet also blah. I was once described as cheeky. I never have figured out what they meant by that. Anyway, yesterday was not the best day of my life. My husband and I had a huge argument that lasted far too long and I Hate money and what it does to people! Okay, now with that being said, I'll continue. Today I am trying to move on from yesterday. I went to take my licensing exam and I failed! I feel like crap! I can't believe I failed! Actually, I can.

I think it is because I have been so preoccupied with things that I can't focus! I wanted to smoke a cigarette so bad yesterday, I sat in front of the convenience store a good 30 minutes before I came to my senses. For me, If I smoke, I might as well say to heck with it all and go back to using.... after that thought I wanted a drink. It's a progressive illness! sometimes even just in our thoughts! thank Heavens we have people in the fellowship to call and help when we freak out like that!

I feel as if I am swimming in a lake full of seaweed that has entangled me. I sometimes can't breathe. I hate taking tests! I feel that same way before and during. I could never do anything well at semesters end for that reason alone. I will retake it next week and study my booty off before then! Hopefully that will be enough!

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