Friday, February 27, 2009

Hey, just needing to vent I guess

I took my son in for surgery this morning and I was faced with challenges from the beginning. We get there on time and they take us back there to get him prepped and We asked the nurse several times to allow my husband to give him a blessing, and after about the 3rd time the nurse got a little rude about having to leave. I didn't care. Truthfully, I was ready to go off by that point alone. They were really rude. We had already seen the anethie whatever, the one that puts him out, and he refused to give him what the doctor had told us to tell him too and decided to give him what he wanted too anyway.

so then he makes a comment about the fact that he never gives the sedative Before the block, nor does he think that there is a problem and we have to leave the room! I just about lost it! Now granted my BABY, is 16 and I know that I have to cut the apron strings at some point, but give me a break! I was there the last time holding his hand the whole time. I should have been able to do the same this time too.

It is more for me as a mom I know this, but we sat out there already feeling uneasy about the whole damn thing and I'm about to let them cut open my baby! I sat there and started to cry, my husband tells me I have to be strong and not let my son see my tears. We finally get back there again and things had not changed much. I told the surgeons assistant that We would be talking when I brought Brandon in for his check up, and that I was less than pleased so far.

We go out to the waiting room as they take care of him, his Dr. comes out and tells us that all is well and we can go back in about 15 min. So about 30 minutes later I'm at the desk wondering why they are not coming to get us. As we are walking back the lady tells us that Brandon is really restless. And says "maybe you can calm him down." We get back there and he's in pain visibly, and writhing in the bed trying to get up.

My husband goes to him and starts to try to hold him down and talk to him and the nurse starts telling him, it's the medicine sir, calm down, it's okay, he's disoriented. DUH!!!! We have been through this MANY MANY MANY times before, and they can't tell us what we don't already know. I am starting to panic at this point because my husband tells her rather sternly, "I got this" I'm trying to soothe him as best I can. Finally another nurse comes in and takes over, and gives him pain medicine. He calms down a little, and then I notice that he has these HUGE welts on his arm and wrist! I freaked!

We got the nurse in there and the anith, Whatever, and they said "OH he must be allergic to Demerol". Never had a reaction before this. So they give him Benadryl and Morphine which knocks down his breathing and Oxygen intake and I freak again, because we can't take off the oxygen yet! My word, The last surgery was nothing like this. I sat there and cried because I couldn't do anything. I kept praying. Finally, after all of the CHAOS! he started to come out of it all and improve and stopped fighting. The hives went away after the Benadryl, and the oxygen was taken off, and he ate some crackers. He kept saying I want to go home! I could not blame him at all!

I know now that I will never leave the room again when it comes to my kids I will fight tooth and nail to stay! I also know that Some People have a huge lack of respect for others' beliefs and that I have no control over that at all. I do however have control over my reaction to them. I will not internalize and make myself sick about it! I love this program of Narcotics Anonymous and Recovery. If I didn't have it and the people in my life I surely would end up loaded! Thanks NA for saving my life!
The picture above is of me and my baby quite a while ago, but he's just as handsome!

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