Monday, January 26, 2009

As I sit here

It souds like I sit alot, but I feel like I never get a moment to breathe. I have finally got a little caught up on some reading. I must thank CNC for the reward and comments. She is my best friend and keeps me on the sane side of life when I am llosing my mind!

Today has been an insane day. I do not want another one like it any time soon. It's not like I did anything that doesn't happen on a usual day, it just felt overwhelming!!!!! I have got to learn that two letter word! No!

I was encouraged to yell out HELL NO earlier by CNC, unfortunately that can be taken the wrong way sometimes or taken out of context. I have had so many things going through my brain today.

I want to find out what options I have since the whole world seems to be getting laid off! I was told that a lot of the Aircraft companies are able to let thier workers go to school while drawing unemployment! Don't get me started. Actually, no I want to say it.

I have worked since I was 16 years old non-stop trying to make a better life for me and my family. Most of us do. I came from a life of complete poverty. We had nothing. I remember a time that we dug through garbage to get aluminum to sell just to eat. I also remember the bleeding hands from the pecans that we picked in the dead of winter for the farmers to eat maybe hot dogs smothered in barbeque sauce just to cover the taste. Or beans for 2 weeks straight and who had money for rice? Now I hurt in my hands and my knees.

I really am getting to a point. I am to the point now where I sit back and watch people that come out of the State building dressed in 200.00 jeans and Coach bags and yet they get help. I am there taking my mother who is completely disabled and can't walk without a walker anymore to get foodstamps after she was denied for 15 YEARS! She supposedly made too much! WHAT??????

I am trying to figure out what has happened to our country. I understand people that need help, I do, but the ones that don't really hack me off! I want to work and can't find a job, My husband finds out Friday when his last day is and I just get so sick to my stomach about it all. I really wonder how those people that drive away from the State Building in Cadillacs sleep at night.

I wouldn't be able to. I know that I kind of went off there, sorry. I am just trying to get the emotions out that have been oent up for a while. I know that it's going to be even harder to find work soon, and just getting worried. I know to worry is a lack of faith. I try not to worry too much anymore. I just swore that I would never live as I did before. I get a little wierd about the whole poverty thing. My children have never seen times like these. They would die if they had no cable. It's about to go!

I have been reading this book called the total money makeover. It's really good. Anyway, I will get off of my high horse now and get on to bed hopefully. I don't really sleep well without my husband here because of house noises. They drive me nuts. I hope all of you have a great day tomorrow!!!!


  1. Hi there. I noticed you as the newest follower of my blog and I wanted to welcome you to the "bunch". The Total Money Makeover is an excellent book and if you can get him in your area, Dave Ramsey has a great radio program. I listen mainly to his podcast, which I get from iTunes.

    Given your family's employment situation, I suggest you get a copy of a book by one of Dave's friends, Dan Miller. It's called "48 Days to the Work You Love." It gives tips on finding the job that goes along with your passions and tips on things like interviews, resumes, etc.

    I also like the way you write your posts in bite size bits. Makes it easier to read.

    Oh, you have a good choice of friends in Clean and Crazy.


  2. owh... this is really gr8 story! thanx for sharing!